I'm an aborted fetus.

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 07:51:06 GMT

FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY!

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 06:06:37 GMT

I'd like to write something. But I gots nothing.

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 05:08:08 GMT

Why the fuck can't I get a damn break from this karmic fucking circle? Why is it that every damn time I try to better myself, something comes along to fuck me over? I'm convinced to go to a party at a friends house. My uncle gets a job cleaning up after the hurricane in Texas. My aunt quits her job. My uncle falls off the back of a moving truck. I get to pick up a 6th day at work. He can't continue working, and has to come home. We can't afford the rent. I have to move to Florida. I turn THAT around, and make it a positive for myself. I manage to get 86 hours this pay period. I pop a tire on the way to Louie's.

I hate this circle.

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 23:34:41 GMT

For the first time in my life I have to make a REAL choice, and I'm afraid.

I have to decide if I can continue to live here, be miserable, and probably wind up offing myself. Or I can move to Tallahassee, work at ANOTHER Melting Pot, live rent free with my mother (until I can get a place of my own), and possibly succeed at life.

My love for this town is only equal to my hatred for the bar-people who inhabit it. But at the same time, I'm possibly moving to a town with nothing but college kids looking to get drunk nightly. I don't know what to do.

I've met a few great people here. Rachel, Lundy, Nina, Britton. These 4 I care about most. I can't stand the thought of leaving them behind, and never coming back. I'm afraid that they'll forget me.

I'm scared of growing up. Just like everyone else.

Guess I have to grow up to get over my fear of it.

This is going to be a bumpy ride.

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 04:46:43 GMT

I don't understand people.

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:11:07 GMT

...tomorrow.

Seriously though. I'm going to attempt it. Easy it won't be. But I'm tired of not living. I'm tired of being overweight. I'm tired of just existing. I'm going to make a serious attempt at life. I'm going to start working out. I'm going to get into shape. I'm going to meet a girl to knock her off her feet, and me off mine. I'm going to finally do what I've always told people, "Grab your balls, and jump in."

See you bitches on the flipside...uh...bitches?
Shane

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 19:16:14 GMT

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckufkfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I can't think straight....aaghha....jesus...can't type....can't................................................................................................LAY OFF THE GODDAMN REDBULL!!>!>!W#KXC bn

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 05:16:12 GMT

Why do I never write what I truly want to write?
Why do I hide behind false statements created to shroud my intentions?

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 07:55:04 GMT

Your full name:: Shane
Age:: 25
Height:: I have no fucking clue.
Natural hair color:: I don't have one?
Eye color:: Blue
Number of siblings:: 1
Glasses/contacts?:: Neither
Piercings:: None
Tattoos:: None yet
Braces?:: Never

FAVORITE
Color:: I enjoy black, and deep shades of purple
Band:: Really into Pink Floyd at the moment
Song:: Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World
Stuffed animal:: I had one once. The devil threw it away.
Video game:: Yes.
TV show:: Doctor Who
Movie:: The Shawshank Redemption
Book:: Ender's Game
Food:: Potato Soup
Game on a cell phone:: Games on cellphones?!?!?!?! What will they come out with next?
CD cover:: They still makes those?
Flower:: I'm partial to lillies
Scent:: "Women. Take it however you want, but the vast majority of the females I've known have a knack for smelling very nice. Always improves my day." (Quoted from a friend, who wrote this years ago)
Animal:: dalmatians
Comic book:: The Watchmen (Technically a graphic novel, but it's damn good.)
Cereal:: Wait, don't tell me, I know this... Either Grapenuts or Chex
Website:: I would try to say it's some site that has to do with something...but it's porn...I mean come on, isn't everybodies?
Cartoon:: Family Guy

DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: Barely play the bass guitar
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: Not anymore
Like to sing?:: Sometimes
Have a job?:: Fortunately and unfortunately
Have a cell phone?:: Yep
Like to play sports?:: Define the following terms: "Like" "to" "play" sports"
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: Yea...about that...no.
Have a crush on someone?:: A few.
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: Nope
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: Yes
Have any special talents/skills?:: I have a knack for movies and the actors/actresses that played in them
Exercise daily?:: I'm trying to start. But it's a slow start
Like school?:: Do I like it now? No. But I miss it.

CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: No
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: Yea.................
Speak any other languages?:: I have yet to master English, and you expect me to speak something else?
Go a day without food?:: I've gone a week?
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: A few times. Every night for a year I slept for 2 hours.
Read music, not just tabs?:: I could vaguely read it in middle school.
Roll your tongue?:: Yea
Eat a whole pizza?:: I used to, but I'm trying to get out of the habit of consuming large quantities of food.

HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: Once
Cried to get out of trouble?:: Nope
Gotten lost in your city?:: Maybe...
Seen a shooting star?:: More than one.
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: Nay
Had a serious surgery?:: Had my wisdom teeth removed
Stolen something important to someone else?:: Yes
Solved a rubiks cube?:: Never
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: A few times
Cried over a girl?:: A few times
Cried over a boy?:: No
Kissed a random stranger?:: Define random
Hugged a random stranger?:: I'm sure I have...
Been in a fist fight?:: Never
Been arrested?:: Never
Done drugs?:: Never
Had alcohol?:: Not much. I had 8 drinks total in my life. *Meaning drinks I actually finished, "trying" a drink doesn't count*
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: Nope
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: I still do
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: Yes. Thank you stupid fake bomb threat people. (rehashed answer)
Swore at your parents?::Uhyep
Been to warped tour?:: Never
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: I do recall that
Been in love?:: I have no idea.
Been close to love?:: Maybe. But that whore....oh that whore...
Been to a casino?:: Nope
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: Maybe.
Broken a bone?:: Fractured my wrist, and I think I fractured a knuckle
Gotten stitches?:: Yep
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: Nope
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: Nope
Made homemade muffins?:: What kind of question is this?
Bitten someone?:: Yes. Both good and bad.
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: I was going to go once. But that was a bad idea.
More than 5 times?:: 5 times what? Sex? Bacon? Screwdrivers?
Been to Niagra Falls?:: Strange question to ask again...
Burped in someones face?:: I try to stay away from people when I burp...it can cause avalanches and earthquakes
Gotten the chicken pox?:: When I was young.

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: Just now
Went to the bathroom:: Just now
Saw a movie in theaters:: This past Sunday.
Read a book:: It's been a while. I try to read, but work causes me to just want to sleep
Had a snow day:: They have snow days in places?!
Had a party:: That'd require a decent amount of people I know AND like.
Had a slumber party:: What the fuck am I? A little girl? Men don't have slumber parties.
Made fun of someone:: Early at work
Got sick:: Mentally? All my life. Physically? Since December
Cursed:: A while ago. I've stopped talking for the evening.

PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:: Your mom
Black/white:: Black
Lights on/lights off:: Lights off
TV/movie:: TV
Car/truck:: Car
Body spray/lotion:: Depends on what they are used for
Cash/check:: Cash
Pillows/blankets:: Pillows
Headache/stomachache:: headache
Paint/charcoal:: paint
Chinese food/mexican food:: Chinese
Summer/winter:: Winter
Snow/rain:: Rain
Fog/misty:: Misty
Rock/rap:: Rock
Meat/vegetarian:: Eat meat, eat meat, eat a big ol' steer. Eat meat, eat meat any time of year.
Boy/girl:: Girl
Chocolate/vanilla:: Depends on the context of the items. Milkshake = Chocolate, Ice cream = vanilla
Sprinkles/icing:: Neither
Cake/pie:: They are both lies? So why choose?
French toast/french fries:: French toast
Strawberries/blueberries:: both
Ocean/swimming pool:: I'm afraid of the ocean. And I dislike swimming.
Hugs/kisses:: Both?
Cookies/muffins:: Cookies
p33n/bewbz:: (Still my answer) I understand your crude language. And I'm not going to respond.
Wallet/pocket:: Pocket
Window/door:: Door
Emo/goth:: Your mom
Pink/purple:: Purple
Cat/dog:: Cat
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: short
Pants/shorts:: Pants
Winter break/spring break:: As long as I get a break...
Spring/autumn:: autumn
Clouds/clear sky:: Clouds. Dark ones. With rain. And misery.
Moon/mars:: That's like comparing an orange to a tomato.

FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:: True friends are especially rare in my life. I had one once. But we've grown apart.
What are their names?:: Chris
Do you have a best friend?:: I've had a few. Though they aren't really anymore.
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: Yes
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: I don't have any?
Have you ever lost a friend?:: Just about everyone. They tend to not want to speak to me after a while.
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: Several times.
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: Don't have one anymore
Have you ever gotten in a big argument with a friend?:: Maybe...I don't know
Whats the nicest thing you've ever done for a friend?:: Stopped talking to him and his girlfriend.
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: Stopped pretending she was my friend.
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: Everyone of them
What friend have you known the longest?:: Chris
Do you regret anything you've done to a friend?:: Nope. I'd do it all over, step by step.
If so, what is it?:: I don't regret it, but I let something come between us, and fuck me over completely. I said things.
How often do you spend time with your friends?:: None
Do any of your friends drive?:: Umm...
Has a friend of yours ever died?:: I'm sure.
Whats the dumbest thing you've done with a friend?:: Uh...I don't remember
What do you think your friends think of you?:: What an asshole that guy turned out to be.

LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:: I believe we've gone over this one already.
If you have, with who?:: Shut up.
Are you single?:: Yes. Born and raised.
Are you in a relationship?:: Why in the hell is this question here?!?
If so, for how long?:: !!!
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:: That's a very good question, Chuck.
What is your idea of the best date?:: I wish I knew...
What was your first kiss like?:: <Blank>
How old were you when you got your first kiss?:: <Blank>
Do you think love is a load of shit?:: I don't know.
Whats the best experience you've ever had with the opposite sex?:: Now you're just torturing me.
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?:: Why only ask the single people? Are people currently in relationships not allowed to answer?
Have you ever been dumped?:: Nope
Have you ever dumped someone?:: Never
Whats the most sexual thing you've done with the opposite sex?:: This one time at band camp I stuck a flu....

WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers:: sliders
Hat:: trick
Hard:: nipple
Free:: bird
Space:: age
Taste:: like chicken
Good charlotte:: shit
Red:: stripe
Deep:: blue
Heart:: attack
Cord:: whale
Cheese:: fondue
Rain:: Bane
Work:: out
Pedal:: metal
Head:: cold
Bed:: free
Fluff:: nut
Hardcore:: fleas
Race:: place
Knife:: fork
Jump:: rope

I....
am:: alone and messed up in the head
want:: someone
need:: help
crave:: someone
love:: life
hate:: life
did:: the right thing
feel:: Depressed, tired, anxious, alive, dead.
miss:: my great-grandmother
am annoyed by:: mostly everything
would rather:: sleep all day
am tired of:: being alone
will always:: remember Jen.

SILLY STUFF
What is your favorite genre of music?:: It's hard to define what I like
What time is it now?:: bedtime
What day is it?:: Friday
Whens the last time you called someone?:: day before yesterday
How much money do you have right now?:: What is money?
Are you hungry?:: Not anymore
Whatcha doin?:: Filling this thing out again
Do you like parades?:: Not at all.
Do you like the moon?:: Yes
What are you going to do when you're done with this?:: Sleep
Isn't cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: Your mom's word is funny when I repeat her over and over.
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: Shoot fireballs
Have you ever had a picnic?:: Probably
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: I found out what these were from the last time I did this thing, and no, never had one.
What about sock em boppers?:: No
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: Nope

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: Yes
pretty?:: Only when I wear makeup
sarcastic?:: Yes
lazy?:: Extremely
hyper?:: Not anymore
friendly?:: I try to an extent
evil?:: Purely
smart?:: I think I am
strong?:: Maybe
talented?:: Not really...
dorky?:: I used to be, but now I'm just me

ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or don't know)
high:: Miller
skip:: Navarro
dance:: Nina
lonely:: Me
pen:: Chris
flower:: Rachel
window::
psycho:: James
brain freeze:: Danielle
orange:: Bruce
sassy:: Rachel
jelly:: Sean

FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:: for
love:: for
drunk drivers:: Against
airplanes:: Against
war:: against
canada:: for
united states:: Impartial
rock music:: For
gay marriage:: For
school:: For
surveys:: Against (And yet, I'm filling one out...IRONY!!!)
parents:: For
cars:: For
killing:: For
Britney Spears:: I'm FOR putting her AGAINST the padded wall of a sanitarium
coffee:: Against
pants:: For

WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: Yes.
Play strip poker?:: Nope
Run away?:: I'm considering it
Curse at a teacher?:: Not anymore
Not take a shower for a week?:: I did that once
Ask someone out?:: I'm thinking of quitting that. I have bad luck with that.
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: Definitely
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: Canada's lookin' awfully cozy to me now.
Go scuba diving?:: No.
Write a book?:: nope
Become a rockstar?:: I wish
Have casual sex?:: I have no idea

LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: Head & Shoulders
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:: Never
What kind of computer do you have?:: Gateway
What grade are you in?:: Threeve
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: Why?
Or just make out?:: No
How many posters do you have in your room?:: None
How many cds do you have?:: None
What time is it now?:: Still bedtime

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 05:13:31 GMT

Time again for me to worry about where I'm going to live, and this time I didn't cause the problems.

I can't say what I'm feeling. It feels like guilt. That guilt you get when you think it's your fault your parents are fighting. But this wasn't caused by me, but by my vodka-lovin' step-aunt. I don't know.

And this alone has ended my almost 3 weeks of not being depressed. I was actually starting to enjoy not having the constant feeling that I wanted to die. Damn my family for being catalysts to my self-inflicted problems. Damn them to hell.

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 02:00:28 GMT

Why am I afraid of social situations?

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:36:33 GMT

I started playing Dance Dance again in an attempt to get back into that shape I was in. And to stop being so damn lazy.

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 06:26:12 GMT

I was going to write something here. But I feel like it's a pointless effort. At least for the moment. Maybe later I'll feel like writing.

A.B.

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 05:35:08 GMT

I hate you all so much right now, I can't see straight.

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 23:53:42 GMT

She's taking over the world. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! She won't stop until we are all her unwitting slaves. Chained to oppressive ankle, forced around to do her bidding. Don't watch this channel. DON'T LISTEN TO THE LIES!!! DON'T LET HER INTO YOUR HOMES!!!!

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!!!

THE END IS NIGH!
THE END IS NIGH!

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:30:40 GMT

When posting, it is proper to correlate with your brain. To be in sync with it, so that non-coherent thoughts trickle out, like scarabs. Confounded cynicism has forsaken the lonely man.

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 07:24:38 GMT

So is the cake.

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 08:16:10 GMT

I wanna post something, but I don't know what to post. Except I'm posting this, so theoretically I have something to post while thinking that I don't have anything to post. But then my first statement is now false because I've accepted that I have this to post, but at the same time I can't erase it for this would no longer make sense. Interesting conundrum. But what is the answer? Do I not post this? If I do that, then me typing this is futile and I should just abandon it, but I'm gonna post it. So do I just let you all read my lie? Hoping you'll still love and accept me even though I've written a lie? Or should I just not mention the lie? Except I've mentioned it. And I still can't erase it. What have I gotten myself into here. I've become a liar. What is to become of me now? I think I'll lead a life of crime. I'll start off by lying to people about stuff. Then maybe work my way on to kidnapping. Yea. I like that. or I'll open a store. One or the other. But then I'm really just lying to you. Thus continuing the first lie because you don't know if I'm lying about post or if I'm lying about lying as a professional criminal career. YOU DON'T KNOW!!! I've just boggled and destroyed my mind with this revelation. I'm going to bed.

Don't make me take this can-opener and open your can!
A.B.

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 02:54:13 GMT

THIS JUST IN!!!

I stapled a Palmetto bug (read: HUGE FUCKING COCKROACH) to my floor.

THAT IS ALL!!!

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 05:26:18 GMT

Random non-friends-only post.

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 03:21:05 GMT

When people other than myself come into my room. I really wanna kill them. Seriously.

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 05:17:49 GMT

As pissed as I am at my family, Hamburger Helper is the one comfort food I can count on to make me feel better.

Damn my car.

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 05:37:09 GMT

Swift. Fucking. Kick. To the balls. I didn't see this one coming.

A.B.

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 06:00:58 GMT

I grow weary of life in general.

Fri, 04 May 2007 03:04:00 GMT

Fuck work.
Fuck schedules.
Fuck people.
You can all go straight to hell.